January 29, 2009

Have a good laugh!

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend
an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
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My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60...
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is...
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I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
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The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
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I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
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I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
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We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
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You could run this over to your friends,
But just e-mail it to them!

2 comments:

herb said...

"The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate."

Those are priceless! I hope you don't me 'stealing' them?

Allen said...

Help yourself, Herb! I stole them from an email.